#Example of rough draft on soda drivers

To date, New Jersey is the only state to raise the legal driving age to seventeen, and various studies have shown that the overall rate of teen fatalities linked to automobile accidents has been consistently lower compared to that of nearby states. 'The bottom line is that when we look at the research, raising the driving age saves lives,' states Adrian Lund, president of the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, a research group funded by the auto insurance industry. No one disputes the idea that raising the legal driving age will create issues and difficulties for many however, these issues pale in comparison with the issue of safety.

#Example of rough draft on soda drivers

According to the National Highway Safety Administration, the rate of crashes, both fatal and nonfatal, for sixteen-year-old drivers is almost ten times the rate as that of drivers aged thirty to fifty-nine, as calculated per mile driven. With car crashes being the leading cause of death among teenagers, many are in favor of raising the legal driving age to eighteen. The tone of this rebuttal can best be described as People whose personal information is not properly protected only have themselves to blame. The first and most important protector of an individual's information is that individual. Additionally, some states have already enacted privacy laws that model the Federal Privacy Act of 1974, ensuring that information collected for one purpose may not be used-or sold-for other purposes without first notifying the individual to whom the data belongs. Any information you do not feel comfortable sharing online should not be shared, and sensitive information should only be provided to trusted organizations. Exercising caution when supplying personal information online is the most vital step in protecting one's privacy. The Internet is only as invasive as one allows it to be, particularly since there are laws to protect people's privacy.

Some claim that the Internet both invades and compromises one's right to privacy. Read the sample student paragraph that addresses a counterclaim. Which revision would most strengthen sentence 1? (7) It is about time that we replaced our outdated and inefficient school calendars. (6) Although many still claim that evidence about year-round school and its link to higher achievement is inconclusive, these people need to open their eyes and see that students in these schools consistently score higher on certain assessments than students who attend schools with traditional nine-month calendars. (5) The United States is not the only country to experiment with a year-round school schedule. (4) It is clear that year-round schooling helps students learn and retain more. (3) Furthermore, the elimination of long breaks, particularly summer break, would significantly reduce 'learning loss' and the additional time wasted at the beginning of each academic year to reteach previously learned material. (2) Not so much information would have to be crammed into nine months. (1) Year-round schooling would help student achievement.

Read the rough draft of a student's conclusion to an argumentative editorial. Which revision of sentence 2 best adds information that clarifies the reason offered by the writer?